Friday, August 14, 2009

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

Have you ever noticed the flood of thoughts you have as soon as you wake up? You start thinking about all the things that need to be done that day, how you’re ever going to do it all, will you bring in any new clients today and on and on and on. You’re having all these thoughts and they’re not always rooting for you to win.

Studies have shown we have thousands of thoughts per minute. And all these thoughts are created by one source and that source is YOU. Now, if we’re the source of our thoughts, why aren’t we consistently feeding ourselves powerful thoughts?

Since we were young, we’ve been told by our parents, teachers, and others what we can and cannot do. We are told what we are good at and what we are not. We are told what to expect and what to believe. Because we are just starting out in life, we are dependent on others and believe what they say to be true.

Some typical thoughts we’ve heard from others and start to take on as the truth are:

  • I’m just not good at this!

  • Things are just not working out right for me!

  • Today just isn’t my day!

  • Why bother, it’s not going to work anyway!

  • Nobody wants to pay me what I’m worth!

  • This is impossible!

  • If only I had more money!

I could go on and on. I think you get the picture. If any of these thoughts sound familiar to you, you’re not alone. Most of us have had these thoughts or similar ones. It starts to look like nothing is going our way and it’s out of our control. And over time, these limiting thoughts start to impact the way you view life.

How do you shift your thinking? A first step in shifting your thinking begins with taking responsibility for your life.

Although we may say, “Yes, I’m already taking responsibility,” the truth is we don’t always want to be held accountable for being responsible. When things aren’t going the way you want them to go, it’s much easier to blame others and circumstances. Then find evidence and agreement to support not taking responsibility. For example, “It’s not my fault clients aren’t calling me back—just look at the economy.” But, when you blame others, you’re giving up your power and nothing changes.

When you take responsibility for your life, you give up any reasons, excuses, or justifications not to do something. You no longer believe those negative thoughts. You’re saying the buck stops with you. You’re taking charge of your own life. Now, that’s the beginning of taking back your power.

As Joe Vitale writes in his book The Attractor Factor:

“You are totally responsible for your experiences in life. That doesn’t mean you caused them. But on some level you attracted them. You are responsible for them. That’s not good or bad. Simply use the experiences to learn about yourself. Get clear and choose what you prefer to experience.”

The message came through loud and clear for me when I had breast cancer. I was working in an unfulfilling and stressful job when I was diagnosed. I was miserable yet afraid to leave. I had thoughts like, “Who would hire me? I’m not that good. They’ll find out I’m a fraud.” I didn’t want to take responsibility and make the changes. Once I got the impact this had on my life, I was clear that if anything was going to change, it was up to me.

I began to consciously change my thinking and speaking. It started with making a declaration to myself. I declared, “I am good enough and will find a fulfilling career.” The more I repeated this statement; the old thoughts began to disappear. I began to believe it would happen…and it did! Within 8 months I left my unfulfilling job, started a new career, and from there went on to start my own business. When I took responsibility for my life, my entire world transformed.

There’s really no escaping being “responsible.” What it really comes down to is no one can do it for you but you. If any changes are going to happen it’s because you choose to make those changes.

There’s a short powerful quote that says it all, “If it is to be, it is up to me!” And remember…it's up to YOU!

ASSIGNMENT:

Where in your life are you avoiding taking responsibility or blaming others? (Look in areas where you feel powerless in your business or your life.)

  • What are the thoughts you’re saying to yourself that keep you stuck?

  • How is this impacting your business or your life?

  • Where are you willing to take responsibility starting now?

  • What is a new thought to create that will get you into action?

  • What are the specific action steps you will take this week?

© 2009. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission from Rochelle Togo-Figa, Professional Sales Coach, is prohibited.

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